Marriage and young minds...

So I was in a forum recently and a young lady and I took to each other and she was comfortable talking to me for some reason - me the one who doesnt talk much! anyways, she was giving me some tips on my hairstyle and how I can rock a different one given that my hair is natural and this product is good...and dont wash with that else.....she was very knowledgeable I must say...about hair then out of the blue she starts this conversation on marriage...

so how is it being married??

its ok...great actually!! why??

you didn't fear giving all your power to someone else?

am like, eh...(in my mind - that sounds so serious when you put it like that)....its a thought but you make a decision and make it work

We talked some more...her main concern was having to rely on another person 100%....power balance issues.....it got me thinking, mmm...whatever her reasons for thinking that way about marriage, her concerns are valid. So let me put on my Big Sister hat and dish out some thoughts.....so here it is ....to all my young sisters

1. Marriage is interesting - interesting since you are two very different people, from different homes, different personalities, different experiences, different values and now you are together. Considering that what we hold as true has been moulded for say 25+ years and now trying to make new memories together - that's a recipe for something interesting if I dare say so myself...all depends on how you look at it, right?

2. Marriage is challenging, some periods definately more challenging than others....one can even begin to doubt the decisions they have made......and you can have egos blocking what you want, but never loose focus of what made you want to be together. Hopefully you are not both strong willed since one or the other has to back down for the sake of the union....however, of course there could be a bigger problem is you are the one constantly stepping back!!

3. Marriage is about two people - two complete people decided to come together and make a perfect union; defend it - don't let others into your space, whether emotionally or physically...there are too many vultures out there!!...eh, now more than ever, the vultures can also be virtual!! internet things!!. Hopefully both of you want it to work, so both will defend it.

4. Marriage is dual submission - #hiding - and that's my humble submission

5. Marriage is a project - it has to have a joint vision and of course the resources to  actualise it - resources is not only cash....time, energy, enthusiasm etc....can all be resources as well!!. These have to be clear for both else it gets counter productive -so communication is key---so better if you are good friends to begin with right??. If one doesn't like how the 'project' is headed, better say it while the issue is still hot else you boil inside you and maybe there was a good explanation as to what happened!!. For instance, I once heard a priest say, if one of you doesnt want to offer sadaka, better don't offer it than offer it in hiding!!

6. Marriages do last!! we have many examples around us.....so no need getting all cynical that it doesn't work....ask God for the grace to make yours work!

7. Marriage is ordained by God himself.. so it goes without saying that prayer is central to the union....

there is much much more I can say, but since 7 is a perfect number, so let me leave it there


...and this I know for sure!!